


Distance

by Cwartsy



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 04:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17015937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cwartsy/pseuds/Cwartsy
Summary: When most people's partners are angry with them, they're sure to let them know it. Baxter is no exception to this but Alastor wishes his darling partner would the same when he's upset.





	Distance

It was a Thursday night, Alastor’s first night off of the week and the start of a long weekend. It was the highlight of his week because it gave him so much more free time to spend with his friends and Baxter. But let’s be realistic here, he was mostly going to spend it with Baxter. It meant free nights to spend with their friends or just with each other. To devote to elaborate nights out or cosy nights in. But best of all, it meant falling asleep with his partner in his arms.

For all night long. Not just for an hour when his shift ended and Baxter was soon to wake up for his but the whole, glorious night through. It’s was a luxury Alastor’s job only took away from him for four nights a week but good god, Alastor couldn’t get through those nights fast enough. But sadly, instead of doing any of those things, Alastor and Baxter had spent the entire time arguing. 

They argued about everything and nothing. About petty things and deeper things. But regardless they argued and quarrelled, bickered and fought until Baxter was ready to walk out. Only then did Alastor finally get it through to his head that now was the time to take his partner’s hand, say sorry and make up. Now all was forgiven or so it seemed but Alastor lay there in his bed frustrated with both Baxter and himself for wasting the night like this.

And things definitely weren’t all fine and dandy from Baxter’s side of things either. He had been silent ever since Alastor had persuaded him back inside but not in the defiant stubbornness that came with the silent treatment. There was a more meek and fragile demeanour about him. Like he was trying to turn himself invisible by making his presence as small and unnoticeable as possible.

Alastor did think about trying to talk to Baxter but he had not long ago tried to walk out. Maybe he just needed space.

Baxter was asleep already. With his back turned to Alastor and the covers pulled up over his head. Funny, Baxter didn’t normally do that. Still, Alastor went on thinking Baxter really was asleep until he heard something. It was so faint Alastor almost missed it entirely but once he detected it, there was no mistaking it. It was the sound of a sniffle.

Alastor closed his eyes and let out a deep, sad sigh. So, they were doing this again.

“Baxter.” he sighed again. He sat up on his knees and tried to move the covers off from over his partner. Baxter tugged them back. Keeping a firm grip on them while Alastor watched him make quick but subtle movements as he brought an arm up to his face. Alastor had a pretty good idea of what he was doing.

“What?” Baxter said to Alastor when he finally surrendered the covers. Turning around and propping himself up with his elbow to look at him properly. Baxter said this with a straight and neutral face but his voice was broken, his eyes were watery and his pillow had a damp patch, he could not fool Alastor. Alastor took Baxter’s free hand and led it over to Baxter’s pillow until they reached that damp patch. Once Baxter’s fingers touched that soggy material, Alastor spread his own fingers over Baxter’s and felt it too, then he gave Baxter an empathetic and knowing look. 

Baxter looked back at Alastor for a moment but turned his face away when new tears started to flow. Still trying to hide. That was enough of that. Alastor gently took Baxter’s face in his hand and made him look at him again. With his index finger he wiped one of Baxter’s tears away before he let go. He opened his arms for his partner and said “Come here”.

Baxter practically flung himself into Alastor’s embrace. He wrapped his arms tight around Alastor’s waist and started openly crying into his torso. Alastor held Baxter gently and began stroking his back. 

“I’m sorry.” Alastor apologised for the second time that night. But this time he meant it even more than he had before. 

“I’m sorry too” Baxter wept.

“I wasn’t a very good lover to you tonight, was I?“ Alastor said, voicing is guilt “I was so mean to you.”

“I was worse.” Baxter said.

“No you weren’t.” Alastor told his partner gently yet firmly “I’m not the one who’s crying.”

“You’re not the one who’s a weak fool.“ Baxter answered back in a tone that was painful for Alastor to hear.

"Now, stop that.” Alastor told him, “You can’t be blamed for getting so upset. I was horrible to you tonight. No wonder you walked out." 

"I was surprised you wanted me to come back." Baxter confessed.

"Of course I wanted you to come back.” Alastor hugged Baxter tight and held him close. He stopped stroking his back only to start stroking his hair. 

“Baxter.’, he whispered to his dear partner, "My sweet, silly Baxter. You always do this." 

"Do what?” Baxter asked him. The poor thing sounded worried. Alastor hoped he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. 

“When you’re upset you always hide from me.” Alastor explained. I’m not having another dig at you. It’s just;”

He paused for a few moments to think about the best way to word what he wanted to say to Baxter. He wanted to find the perfect words so Baxter would know exactly what he meant. 

"I wish you wouldn’t keep all your feelings bottled up all the time. I wish you would tell me how you feel. I want to know how you feel, Baxter. I need to know. I want to make you feel better when you're down. I want to help you with your problems. I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on in here” he told Baxter, tapping lightly against Baxter’s head. 

“Please don’t be afraid to tell me how you feel. I’m your partner, you can tell me anything.”

“Not really.” Baxter argued, although thankfully in a much more passive way than before, “I was more than open with you earlier and all that did was escalate tonight’s fiasco" 

"That was different, Bax.” Alastor disagreed strongly, “I was being snappy and nasty with you for no reason. Of course you would fight back and in the long run, it was a good thing you did. The things you said made me think about what I was doing and they made me see that I was wrong.”

“We both were.” Baxter admitted “Please don’t think too much about what I said. I didn’t mean any of it." 

"I think you did mean some of it.” Alastor contradicted, “Like when you said I was being unreasonable and unfair? You were right of course.”

“Alright, maybe I did mean some of the things I said.” Baxter admitted, “But not any of the awful things.”

“I know.” Alastor said “I didn’t mean the awful things I said either. I really am sorry I blew up at you. I’ve just been stressed lately. But that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”.

“It’s alright.” Baxter forgave, “There’s still a lot going on with me. With my mind. I’ve been trying my best to deal with it but, let’s just say, I also took out my frustrations on you. Wrongfully so of course. How about next time, we do as you said? Instead of shouting at each other, we just simply talk to each other?”

“That would be wonderful.” Alastor smiled, planting a kiss onto Baxter’s head. 

They stayed in comfortable silence for a little while. All that needed to be said had been said. Well, except for maybe one thing.

“Baxter, can I ask you something?" 

"Of course”

“Why is it that you feel the need to hide your feelings, rather than talk about them?" 

"You ask me that a lot.” Baxter said apologetically, “I really would tell you if I knew. I truly wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. I just don’t know.”

Alastor nodded in understanding, even though Baxter couldn’t really see it from where he was. This was the response he always had from Baxter but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying. He certainly wasn’t going to leave it indefinitely but he was willing to leave the subject alone for tonight.

Alastor didn’t want to think about how many times Baxter cried and no one knew. He didn’t want that to happen again. Maybe, if he could just find the reason why Baxter lived this way, they could work on building Baxter’s confidence towards feeling comfortable sharing his emotions.

But now was not the time for enquiries or investigations. Right now, Baxter needed comfort and security. 

“That’s okay.” Alastor told him “There’s no rush but I really do think it would help you if we knew the reason. How about we get some sleep now and tomorrow, focus on finding it together?”

“Fine by me.” Baxter said happily. He dislodged himself from his position on Alastor’s lap so they could both settle down back into bed.

“Oh. And Alastor,” he added, “The next time you’re stressed, let me know.”

He reached for the sweet spot behind Alastor’s ear only he knew about and gave it a good scratch.

“I know just how to calm you down.”

Baxter was certainly right about that. Alastor automatically started purring like a cat. He tilted his head sideways, leaning closer into Baxter’s touch. 

“Oh no! what have I done?” Baxter laughed, “Now I’m going to have to do this for hours.”

Alastor laughed too and held his partner close. His beloved Baxter sounded so happy it was obvious he wouldn’t mind petting him for a millennia. 

They held each other the moment they were under the covers. The comfort of Baxter’s embrace tiring Alastor out quicker than he thought it would. And apparently, it had the same affect on Baxter.

“Goodnight, Alastor.” He said in no time at all.

“Goodnight, my little gourami”. Alastor said back “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alastor watched over his partner until he was sure he was sound asleep. Then fell he asleep himself with his beloved in his arms and a smile on his face. His final thoughts before sleep took over were most satisfactory. 

“Tomorrow will be much better.”


End file.
